guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
