Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
