It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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