you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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