If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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