I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
