You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
