sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize