we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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