my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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