i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
In America we eat man semen.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
His nipple licking is glorious
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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