I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
