You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize