The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
