Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
