he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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