I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I just gift wrapped bread.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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