he told me I talked like a deaf person
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
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