Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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