D3 body, D1 cock
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Sorry my hands just texted you
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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