oh god the rape fog is back!
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I just googled if crying burns calories
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
we're so committed to being not committed
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
