We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I came so hard my ears popped.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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