Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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