We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
