at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
