My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
