He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
