your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
