I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize
