Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
