He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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