Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
