No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
you made out with another girl for some wings
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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