We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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