If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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