don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
