Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
