Whoa Z and x make the same sound
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
How external is "for external use only"?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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