Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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