For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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