3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
