i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
