I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
