peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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