Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
