So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
