Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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