Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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