I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
