and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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