He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
