So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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