I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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