you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
