it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
