We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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