i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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