i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
