I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
