it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
